How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
