oh god the rape fog is back!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
