I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
