If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
