So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
