I wanna bring you to show and tell
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
