if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize