Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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