Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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