I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
