They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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