found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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