Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
