I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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