He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
