hell yes lets make some ravioli
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
