hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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