call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize