Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
