i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
