Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
