I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
