I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
