I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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