at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize