Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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