taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
