Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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