you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
