and you said cock pushups were impossible
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
