i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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