He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
