I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
