I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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