i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it glows. i had to have it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
