i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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