Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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