whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
