I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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