he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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