we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
