You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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