how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
