Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
