I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
