So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
