...so i touched it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize