i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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