Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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