Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
