Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
