think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
