even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
