Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
