ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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