Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
