He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
