I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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