Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
