She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
