Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
