how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
