it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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