who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize